Part 3: my first procedure and dialysis experience- what I found impacted me the most.
My First Procedure with Kidney Failure
I had never experienced any medical procedures before, so being wheeled into the procedure room was surreal. Everything was sterile and prepared, but it was still overwhelming. It was also my first experience with a local anaesthetic—painful beyond what I had expected. Whilst they were inserting the line, I fell asleep, mostly out of exhaustion.
When I woke up and saw a tube coming out of my body, it was such a strange, confronting feeling. It was like my body suddenly decided, yes—we are ill. All of the denial I had built up—the idea that this was “just a chest infection”—vanished. For the first time, I truly felt the weight of being in kidney failure. It’s hard to explain, but my body had somehow carried on, despite all the warning signs, until I started treatment. And then, as if it had permission to stop pretending, everything hit me at once: exhaustion, pain, and the heavy reality of my body filling with waste it could no longer process.
Experiencing My First Dialysis Session
My first dialysis session happened soon after. I was taken to a separate area of the ward where the dialysis machines were. I had no real idea what dialysis even was—honestly, I don’t think I had ever heard the word before that day. The team was incredible, though visibly shocked that I was still on my feet with an eGFR of just 2.
They explained that I would be having haemodialysis. To connect me to the machine, they cleaned my ports and attached two tubes: one drew blood out, ran it through the filter, and the other returned the “cleaned” blood back into my body. The filter removed the waste products and excess fluid, including the fluid that had been filling my lungs. The machine even had a set target for fluid removal. When the session ended, they disconnected me, flushed my lines, and ran the machine on a cleaning cycle. I’ll never forget the cold rush of the flushing solution spreading through my veins—such an uncomfortable sensation.
I needed several sessions before my blood levels stabilised, but even after the first one, I felt dramatically better. For days I had struggled to breathe, and suddenly, I could inhale normally again—it was bliss. I was still unwell, but that one change felt life-giving.
Investigating Kidney Failure: Finding Answers
During my hospital stay, the team ran tests to understand why my kidneys had failed. An ultrasound revealed that my kidneys were small and scarred, suggesting I had been unwell for some time without realising it. The most likely causes were long-term undiagnosed high blood pressure damaging my kidneys, or kidney failure itself leading to high blood pressure. In the end, there was no clear answer.
Central Line Placement: Adjusting to Life with Dialysis
Later, they placed a central line as a more permanent access point. Back to the procedure room I went—this time more awake, but still enduring the sting of local anaesthetic. They inserted the line into the vein in my neck, with the ports coming out of my chest just below my collarbone. Afterwards, the pain was intense; I needed codeine, which made me feel sick, so I had to take anti-sickness medication on top of everything else.
Living with two tubes sticking out of my chest was strange and a bit frightening. It was hard to digest that this was my new “normal”—something essential just to keep me alive. One of the hardest adjustments early on was not being able to get them wet. I hadn’t showered properly in what felt like forever, and once the central line was in, that restriction became permanent. Washing my long hair with a handheld shower, bent over, was such a small thing—but it was one of those moments that hit me: my normal is gone. I am unwell. That realisation, more than the procedures themselves, was one of the hardest things to cope with.
Lessons Learned from Kidney Failure and Dialysis
Looking back, I know the real message I want to share is simple: check your blood pressure. It’s quick, painless, and can literally save your life. Many GP surgeries and pharmacies offer free checks, and home machines are inexpensive. I can’t help but think that if I had monitored mine, maybe I could have prevented my kidneys from reaching this point.
Have you ever experienced kidney failure, dialysis, or another serious medical procedure? How did it impact your life? I’d love to hear your story—please leave a comment below and share your experience.
